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Charlie’s Chocolate Factory of Unspeakable Horrors Now Available!


AUTHOR’S NOTE: My apologies for not getting this out much sooner.


I’ve illuded to this project in the past (though not as often as I thought I would when I started this damn blog), but now, it’s here, and it’s available for purchase on

We all know the story of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory…  Or so we think.  Willy Wonka’s legendary chocolate factory has stood abandoned for decades, and no one is certain of the truth.  However, when an oompa-loompa escapes, proving the existence of oompa-loompas in the process, interest in the abandoned factory is reignited.  Joe Conner: liberal columnist, Ted Branson: conservative talk radio host, Marcus Frey: libertarian YouTuber, and Yasmin Potter: communist blogger, all travel to the factory in search of answers.  However, what they find there may be more horrifying than anybody could’ve ever possibly imagined.  Zombie oompa-loompas, the true and gruesome fates of the ungrateful kids, and a whole mess of other atrocities await you in this delightfully dark parody of a childhood classic.

INTERESTING FACT: this idea formed in my head in 2014.  I was looking for an excuse to take part in NaNoWriMo, and I had two ideas.  I ended up going with a different idea for the 2014 NaNoWriMo, though: a project I pet named “Upton Sinclair in Space”.  It wasn’t until I’d thoroughly given up on being for-real published, and embraced the world of self-publishing and novellas when I decided to finally pen this story.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, as well as the movie…  Maybe even more so the movie, has been a childhood favorite of mine for as long as I can remember.  It was a lot of fun coming up with alternate horrifying endings for the children and their parents, as well as coming up with other possible ideas for horrors to inhabit the factory.  I was initially against the idea of four characters with politically charged ideologies, but after kicking the idea around a little more, I ended up liking it better than just having one guy running away in terror over and over again.  I actually like it better now that I went this route.

I was originally going to hold out for a cover artist, and use this current cover as a sort of place-holder cover.  However, I’ve really grown to like it a lot.  Something about that font.

Charlie’s Chocolate Factory of Unspeakable Horrors is now available for download here:




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