With Charlie’s Chocolate Factory of Unspeakable horrors out of the way, I’m now on to my latest project.
I’ve always wanted to write a superhero comic, but unfortunately, I can’t draw. Even when I had both eyes, my concept of drawing was a bit… Questionable. I’ve tried recruiting artists in the past, but at the risk of burning bridges, I’ve found these guys really weren’t good at meeting deadlines. Or maybe my deadlines were too relaxed. I’ll believe either one.
Rather than attempt to find another artist this go-around, though, I decided to novelize my superhero epic instead. It’s fortunate I live in the 2010s: a decade that, among other things, is pretty much the golden age of superheroes. Especially in movies. And especially if they’re Marvel movies. I might recruit an artist for a book cover, or even for some concept art, but for the most part, I think I’ll stick to novelizing this one.
My original plan was to novelize an old hero I’d come up with back in 2007. However, a lot has changed since 2007. For starters, I was a lot more of a libertarian back in 2007, and the concepts displayed throughout Annihilationman showed it. Nowadays… I’d say I’m libertarianish. Although I HAVE found that left-winged libertarianism is actually a thing. Hell, libertarian communism is actually a thing, too, but trust me, we’ll be here all day if I go into that.
GETTING BACK ON TRACK!
Instead, I decided to novelize a new hero. I call her Gael. In short, she’s sort of the druidic Wonder Woman. Her costume is in the same style as Wonder Woman, but in the pattern of the Irish tricolor instead of the American flag. Her powers have less to do with super strength, and more to do with agility and ninja tactics. And of course, Gael would probably be more likely to associate with The Tuatha De Danann of Ancient Ireland than with Greek gods and goddesses.
There are a lot of challenges in this story, of course. For starters, I have to learn a whole new dictionary of slang. The woman behind Gael lives in America, but she’s only been an American for… Oh, let’s say a year or two to make it easier. Obviously, we’re not talking about a Perfect Strangers esque situation where a guy from a backwater micronation that probably doesn’t even exist anymore and probably never did has to learn a whole new set of customes. At the same time, though, I imagine her slang would be a lot more rooted in Irish than in American. IE, she’d probably say “acting the maggot” where as your average American would say “horsing around”. This is definitely a challenge.
Also, I like to show off and pepper some of her dialogue with Gaelic. Unfortunately, I don’t know how to make some of the accent markers with a keyboard. Google Translate has been surprisingly accurate so far (I’m thinking my friend’s complaints have more to do with how they handle Korean than anything else), but it doesn’t seem interested in letting me copy and paste the text into the word document. I’m pretty sure those marks are necessary, too. You spell a word with an A that DOESN’T have the mark, it probably means something completely different than if it DOES.
There’s also the challenge of establishing the line between necessity, and erotica. This is probably the problem a lot of men writing female heroes have as well. Especially since a lot of her powers were inspired by The Iron Druid. IE, taking in energy from the Earth through one’s skin. Some could say that one’s skin having to be in contact with the Earth is necessary, while others would say it’s just an excuse to have your heroine be naked on camera for a few minutes. I don’t plan on her running into battle butt-ass naked, but having a gymnastics leotard be her battle attire would make more sense if she has to draw power from the Earth itself, right?
It’ll be interesting to see where this goes. I look forward to showing you the finished product. Assuming, of course, I don’t get bored halfway in, and start something else.