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Maybe DC Just Sucks

So the advanced screening reviews for Suicide Squad are in, and, shock of all shocks, it’s fucking horrible.  I haven’t seen it yet, and I usually don’t put a whole lot of stock into what a bunch of snobs fresh out the film academy have to say about a comic book movie.  At the same time, though, it’s not especially surprising.

A local morning show insists that there’s some sort of propaganda going around.  Notice how all the Marvel movies get nothing but positive reviews, and DC gets nothing but negative reviews.  Perhaps there’s a conspiracy afoot.

Yeah, or maybe DC just sucks.

Marvel has been getting nothing but positive reviews because their movies are actually good.  Hell, I’ve been going to Marvel movies since Marvel started this fantastic voyage in 2008, and the only real negative thing I can say about any of it is that it’s starting to get a little tiresome.  But even then, that’s only because I’ve been on this journey for eight years.  You’re going to get bored with the formula, and you’re going to wish Nick Fury had actually been dead in Winter Soldier on the grounds it would’ve been ballsy and different.

The only Marvel movie in the last eight years I can say I legitimately didn’t like was Guardians of the Galaxy.  I don’t know why I didn’t like it, either.  It just didn’t click with me for some reason.  Probably because my ultimate thought was along the lines of “A human, a raccoon, a sentient tree, a blue lady, and Dave Batista cruise around outer space and fight space crime in their awesome shuttle.  Is this one of those priest and a rabbi jokes?”

DC, meanwhile, has just been awful in the last 8 years.  Sure, there was The Dark Knight…  Except I actually had my problems with The Dark Knight.  The Dark Knight had the same problems Spider Man 3 had with its need to cram as many villains in as possible.  Did we really need Joker AND Two Face?  Maybe if you’d showed a little restraint and didn’t blow your load all at once, maybe you wouldn’t have had to use FUCKING BANE as your A-lister.  Bane: the villain whose ultimate claim to fame is “ME BIG!  ME HAS FORMULA TO MAKE ME BIGGER!  THEN ME IS REAL BIG!”

But for some reason, The Dark Knight franchise succeeded.  And DC got it in their head that ALL their properties have to be all dark and gritty.  Honestly, it works for Green Arrow, but it doesn’t work for literally every other hero I’ve seen so far.  It didn’t work for Man of Steel, it’s probably not going to work for The Justice League…

“But TJB,” you say.  “Suicide Squad is all about villains!  Doesn’t that deserve to be gritty?”

Honestly, it has the potential to be good like that.  If anything, this movie ought to have been the bizarro Avengers.  I’ll reserve my own personal judgment for when the movie finally comes out.  For now, though, you’ll forgive me if I tend to let track records do the talking on this one going in.


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