Tuesday cannot come soon enough. This has been the single worst election I think I’ve ever seen. Seriously. Even the 2000 election didn’t feel this tedious and irritating, and that was the one where they recounted the votes in Florida infinity-billion times. Either because Gore was a sore loser who couldn’t accept the fact a red state voted red, or because Jeb was rigging the election in favor of little bro. I’ve heard evidence on both sides, and frankly, I don’t even care anymore, what with Dubya pretty much returning to his home planet after 2009.
I’ve been saying here over and over again I was going to vote libertarian. However, when I went in to vote early, I stood there at the voting device, I remembered all the disastrous town hall meetings Bill Weld had to bail Johnson out of (making me wonder why they didn’t nominate Weld for the LP in the first place)… I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.
It may’ve taken me a couple months to come to the conclusion everyone else aware of Johnson has, but there was something in me that said, “You know, this Garry Johnson fella may very well be stupid.” Which begs the question: what the fuck did the other nine libertarians sound like if THIS was the best we could come up with? I know for sure the guy who founded McAfee Antivirus was one of the candidates, and that right there is a loud oh hell no. I can’t trust McAfee to keep MY COMPUTER safe from MALWARE, so why the fuck should I trust his administration to protect my rights? I don’t even know who the other people were.
Naturally, I didn’t vote Clinton. Nor did I vote Trump. Do I really need to explain why at this point? Nor did I vote for Jill Stein. Stein, in the grand scheme of things, is a big picture type who paints a really nice picture if you’re a former Bernie Backer like me. However, the problem with big picture people is they tend to overlook the nuts and bolts. And when you look at Stein’s outlook, there’s some details that need some serious explaining.
I was tempted to write in Joe Exotic: a write-in independent who… Let’s face it, this guy doesn’t stand a chance. It doesn’t help that I have no clue where he stands on literally ANYTHING. The only thing I’ve gleaned from his comercials is that he’s most likely pro-gay marriage, and that he doesn’t plan on wearing a tie when he wins. Perhaps in that one parallel Earth way off on the Z-axis of the multiversal spectrum.
But I felt like I had to vote. So I did what I planned on doing since 2015: I voted for Bernie Sanders. I clicked write-in candidate, and I wrote Bernie Sanders in. Because fuck it. You’re not giving me anything good. Also, I’ve heard you can get arrested if you write in NONE OF THE ABOVE, or SOMEONE ELSE. Don’t know how they figure out it was you, or if that’s even enforceable, but yeah, I don’t plan on learning the hard way one way or the other.
Is writing in Bernie Sanders akin to not voting? Probably. I have heard a pretty huge amount of Bernie backers who weren’t putting all their faith in Stein or Trump saying they were going to do it. Even if he doesn’t stand a chance (especially now), I feel like I made my statement.
Frankly, Tuesday can’t come fast enough. I don’t even care anymore. Either we get sent to war with Russia with Clinton, or we get a fucking circus with a dash of “religious freedom” sprinkled in with Trump. Nobody wins, and America sucks for four more years. The end.