Well the election is over. And my personal Facebook is just flooded with rage, angst, and the occasional antiauthoritarian rant from this one guy. Technically, that’s my personal Facebook REGARDLESS of what time of year it is, but today, there’s a theme. And that theme is Donald Trump winning the election.
The trend continued onward in real life, too. Everybody at my job was pretty much a zombie. The most talkative guy I know, a guy I like to talk superheroes with on occasion, was probably the least talkative I’ve seen him.
I spoke to my mom tonight, starting off with “So… How about that election, huh?” According to her, one of her coworkers, no joke, came to work in widow weeds. Another one just erupted into tears and angry shouting.
People are pissed! People are shocked! People are horrified! And all I can say in response is… Really? You’re really shocked the stupid one won the election? REALLY?!
Trust me, readers, I’ve followed politics since at least 2001. Admittedly, back then, I was loud and proud blue through and through, where as nowadays I’m more teal (Justice Party colors), but regardless of what side of the fence you’re on, there is a lesson that needs to be learned.
I learned this lesson in 2004 when George W. Bush got reelected. I learned this lesson when people like Parris Hilton and Linsey Lohan dominated the news, and I had to go to places like fucking Ogrish.com to find news on the war in Iraq. I learned this lesson in 2010 when The Tea Party Revolution sweeped in and stole the house of representatives. And now, I have learned this lesson in 2016. And what’s that lesson, you ask? America loves stupid people.
While I’ve made it very clear I was never Hillary Clinton’s biggest fan, that doesn’t mean I liked Donald Trump. Frankly, I’ve always hated the republicans, where as it took a couple elections to become disenfranchised with the democrats. Also, it’s Donald fucking Trump! The man can’t even keep a casino afloat, and I’m supposed to trust him with the white house? This election ALONE has proven that Donald Trump is, hands down, very tiny pussygripping hands down, a fucking mongoloid. And yet, he won the election anyway. And he won the election for that exact reason.
Back in 2004, John Kerry was our man. To paraphrase a conversation that took place in Max Barry’s novel, Lexicon (great novel, by the way): “John Kerry is intelligent, he’s well-spoken, and that’s exactly why he ended up losing.” Americans hate smart people. Hell, have you heard us bitch about Obama? He’s intelligent, he’s well spoken, and everybody here fucking hated him. Some people insist it had to do with him being a socialist (which I don’t see at all), or being a tax-and-spend liberal, or even for being black. But I’ll tell you right now, it’s not any of that. It’s because Barack Obama is smart. Okay, maybe the guy isn’t going to build a rocket any time soon, but he clearly graduated from college, and he doesn’t have the vocabulary of a fourth grader like Trump, and he isn’t famous for making up words on the spot like George W. Bush was in his prime. And all I fucking heard from 2009 onward was how he was an overprivilleged dick who had everything handed to him.
Although, to be fair, I DO live in Kansas, and there aren’t many states redder than red fucking Kansas.Trump is an idiot. America loves idiots. Therefore, America loves Trump. This isn’t algebra, folks.
Also, if you ask me personally, I think that WikiLeaks incident with all those emails really didn’t help Clinton any. Even if I DID like Clinton (which I fucking don’t), I had a hard time believing she was going to win this election. In fact, the only thing that really surprised me in the longrun was how unanimous it all ended up being.
So yeah, four to eight years of Trump. America is going to go through some VERY interesting times. Should be a riot. I almost can’t wait.