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The Sims 4 for PS4: My Thoughts

Holy fucking hell.  I seriously can’t believe I was waiting for this.

Look, I’m not a PC gamer.  A lot of the time, I end up getting computers that can’t run shit as far as PC games go.  I suppose STEAM has remedied that problem…  Or maybe Eternal doesn’t require a whole lot of processing power to run.  In any case, aside from Eternal, which I haven’t played since July, I generally don’t do PC gaming.

Meanwhile, there’s The Sims.  If I have literally ANY guilty pleasure in life, it’s probably The Sims.  This is hands down the single dumbest idea for a video game anybody has ever had.  And have you seen some of the shovelware on STEAM?  And yet, despite this, it’s been one of my all-time favorite things to play.

I tried playing it on PC back in the day, but found that it crashed regularly.  The console version for PS2, and the offshoot game known as The Sims: Busting Out, were games that saw some heavy rotation in my old PS2.  I tried playing The Sims 2 on the WII, but found it to be a serious ordeal.  Not necessarily because of the game itself, but because this was the point the WII was losing its novelty.

I came to the console version of The Sims 3 for PS3 way late in the game, but I ended up enjoying the shit out of it.  I thought lifespans would ruin the game, but honestly, it made it MORE interesting to see.  I put the game in around March, played it religiously, and when I finally came back to reality, I came to the revelation of “Holy shit, it’s July!”.

I’ve honestly heard the ultimate definition of mixed reviews for The Sims 4, and a lot of the negative reviews were about all the features from The Sims 3 that got cut out, and reintroduced as DLC.  SEMI-RELATED NOTE: fuck EA Games.  I anticipated the release of the console port, and it finally came out earlier this week.  And I legitimately can’t remember the last time something Sims related left me this disappointed.  Seriously, even Urbs: Sims in the City was novel for a while.  Before it got stupid.

The menus in this game are fucking horrible.  Microscopic text on eye bleeching backgrounds is nothing especially new for The Sims (this was a problem dating back to around The Sims 2 as memory serves), but man, it’s especially annoying here.

It’s made extremely worse the moment I discovered they expected you to use a fucking curser to navigate everything.  A curser.  On a fucking PS4!  Seriously, bro, what’s wrong with having a simple scrollable menu on the left, and my sim on the right?  It worked just fine in The Sims 3.

The interface of this game is the most atrocious part of this entire console port.  I suppose I should be a little happy they went with something other than bleech white for the create-a-sim screen, but having everything in icons, and having to use a FUCKING CURSER to click on things…  This probably works fine for PC, but on console, this is unacceptable.

The curser is made even worse by being uncooperative.  It goes from sluggish to streaking across the screen in nothing flat, and someone like me who operates on one faulty eye loses track of this thing WAY too easily.

You can technically click the touchpad on your controller, and go to using the D-pad or left analog stick to navigate menus…  Except that’s somehow MORE inefficient.  I literally NEEDED the broken fucking curser to do certain things.

The game provides tutorials if you ask for them.  Unfortunately, the text is so fucking tiny, and the tiny black text on bright white gives me headaches.  I’ve literally had more fun looking directly at the sun for an hour.  If the menu system wasn’t such a pain in the ass, this wouldn’t be a problem.  Believe me, I’ve often said “fuck the tutorial” and made it through games by figuring out where everything is.  Except here, the menus are fucking impossible to figure out.

I played this game for about forty minutes, and I’m so fucking annoyed with it that I’m debating whether or not I want to give it another go tomorrow night.  My sim is currently standing on the sidewalk, texting his buddies…  Or maybe he’s playing Flappybird?  He’s doing something on his cell phone like an idiot, because I have no fucking clue how to build his house.  And I can’t build his house because the interface is unintuitive and frustrating, I can’t read the tutorials, and thus far, all the YouTube videos I’ve consulted deal with the PC version.  Because fuck console gamers, I guess.

All and all, I consider this to be a major disappointment at best, and fifty bucks I’m never going to get back at worst.  I wish my PS4 was backward compadible with PS3, because then I could just plug in my copy of The Sims 3, and play that instead.  At least then it’d be fun.

I couldn’t tell you if The Sims 4 is any good or not.  It’s got all the fun stuff you’d expect from the past games, plus the ability to make vampires apparently, but I’ll never know, because this game is a fucking headache to deal with on PS4.  I guess stick with the PC version?

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