The other day, I decided to go to my favorite bar: a quaint little place called Sharks. I’ve mentioned its existence very briefly in my book, HikikoMorey, and I assure you that it’s a real place. I don’t go there nearly as often as I used to, but for an event like The Chiefs making it to the playoffs, I’ll make an exception.
There is nothing like being in the audience of a Chiefs game in Arrowhead Stadium… But I imagine a bar full of ravenous Chiefs fans is the next best thing.
I sat at the bar, watching multiple screens playing the same broadcast of ESPN’s coverage. The Chiefs took on The Tennessee Titans, a team that virtually everyone and their mom insists has no right to even be in the playoffs this year. In the first half of that game, it was definitely looking like the naye sayers were right. Two quarters in, it was 21 to 0.
Then, like only The Kansas City Chiefs possibly could, they done fucked up. They went from unstoppable to paper mache in one quarter. In the end, The Tennessee Titans, the underdogs of the AFC at this point in the season, did the… Well, I’d say unthinkable. Unfortunately, this is The Chiefs we’re talking about.
The Chiefs, god bless ’em, just don’t have what it takes to last in January. In the last seven years, we’ve been to the playoffs four or five times, and we only ever made it to the second game once. And for the record, I’m not counting that year we got the bye as making it to game two. I’ve heard friends of friends on Facebook insist it’s the Andy Reed curse, but honestly, I just think that’s our team. One of those four or five times I mentioned before, Todd Halley was our coach, and the world’s easiest quarterback to sack was our quarterback.
In the end, Tennessee ended up beating Kansas City by one point. One measley point.
ASIDE: I have no idea what happened to Ryan Succup. He was probably the best kicker the Chiefs have had in a while, but as a Titan, he just couldn’t get the extra points to save his life this game. How the hell do you miss extra points!? Even if you get ten yard or fifteen yard penalties, those kicks should be the single easiest kicks a kicker can make! Okay, back on topic.
The game was… Interesting. Disappointing, yes, but unlike the rest of the patrons at Sharks that day, I didn’t get nearly as worked up over it. Let’s be honest, football doesn’t rule my life. I cheer for The Chiefs, but I’m unbiased enough to see my team for what it is, and our team is… Weird. They can either be unstoppable conquerers who can defeat the fucking Patriots, or they can be a team held together with Elmer’s Glue and Thumbtacks that can’t even beat the 1-7 New York Giants. And yeah, my examples come from the 2017 season. That’s because the 2017 season is really the best proof of this.
People groaned in fury when The Chiefs lost. One girl way in back shrieked “GOD DAMN I HATE THIS FUCKING GAME!” at the top of her lungs. A guy on the other end of the bar was slamming his fists in anger, shouting “FUCK!” at the top of his lungs. I, and the lady next to me who was helping my blind ass out by telling me important details like how much time was on the play clock and what not, was probably the only one who DIDN’T flip out, and even SHE was bummed out by the loss.
The game was disappointing, but I went more to interact with the crowd. I fancied myself a bit of a gonzo journalist, more in the sense I was injecting myself into the crowd and writing more about the people I encountered and the adventure I was on, and less in the sense I forgot my job and spent the entire day doing insane amounts of drugs. Although I did have a ridiculous amount of Angry Orchard, but I digress.
So yeah, KC’s out. Again. Can’t say I’m shocked, really.