It’s WrestleMania season, which means I’m paying closer attention to WWE and their shinanigans in order to decide if this year’s pay per view is worth buying. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to order the Royal Rumble this year, but in this day and age where WWE THEMSELVES upload super abridged versions of every show, it’s no biggy.
Apparently, this year was the year they had their first ever women’s Royal Rumble. And can I just say, the women’s division in WWE has come a ridiculously long way since 2014. Last time I watched WWE religiously, Daniel Bryan was still an active wrestler, John Cena was at the height of his obnoxiousness, and the “divas” were an absolute shit show. God bless Natalya and Beth Phoenix for doing the best they could with the talentless idiots they had to carry. It was an era when women’s wrestling wasn’t taken seriously, but we couldn’t make them do swimsuit competitions and wrestle in pudding like when The Kat was around. Well, technically, you COULD do swimsuit competitions, but they were pretty bulky one-piece swimsuits that left a lot to be desired if you were anything but a leg man. But I digress. Gone are the days of Kelly Kelly, Candis Michelle, and The Bellas. Long live the era of Sasha Banx, Asuka, and Bayley.
Okay, getting back on track.
Asuka winning the rumble was the exact opposite of a shock. The big shock came when Ronda fucking Rousy, former UFC women’s bantamweight champion, came out, and did her big thing where she pointed at the WrestleMania sign.
Ronda Rousy debuting in WWE is one of those moments that causes the roof to come unglued. People have been talking about Rousy being a wrestler since 2016 or so. Maybe even longer, for all I know. This seems like a pretty great moment…
But then a thought occurred to me. Ronda Rousy actually LOST her last two matches in UFC. She lost the title to Holly Holme (one of my favorites in the division at the time), and… I forget who she lost to the second time, but she never got her mojo back from that first loss.
Rousy seemed unbeatable in her championship days. She was fortunate to be in a real sport, where winning a twenty-five minute match in fifteen seconds is something to brag about. You pull something like that in UFC, you’ve accomplished something great. True, it’s probably not a world record (I think Andre Arlovski holds the record for shortest title fight victory ever with a match lasting six seconds), but it’s still something that’d have a lot of shit talkers second guessing themselves.
You try a fifteen second match in WWE, meanwhile, it doesn’t go over nearly as well. A fifteen second match in WWE is either a comedy spot, or it’s the biggest ripoff ever. Just take a look at the reaction to Daniel Bryan Vs Sheamus at Wrestlemania28. Eighteen seconds is not something to brag about in a scripted show.
Ronda Rousy, the woman who beat about ninety percent of her opponents in the first round, suddenly loses her winning ways in a REAL fight, and ends up in a scripted show like WWE? That seems like a demotion to me. The same thing happened with Brock Lesnar after he lost to Cain Velasquez. He just couldn’t win anymore, and had to resort to play-fighting in order to be taken seriously again. Although Lesnar got his start play-fighting, where as Rousy is just now entering the arena, but still…
I know that sounds kind of demeaning to wrestling fans when I say that. Believe me, I know what that’s like, having people who not only can’t take your favorite thing on TV to watch seriously, but thoroughly ride your ass from first period to the end of the school day calling you a gay-ass faggot and making fun of you nonstop for liking a fake-ass show. And yes, I reluctantly own up to being one of those idiots who tried, and absolutely failed at trying to explain the difference between fake and scripted. PS: don’t ever do that. It doesn’t improve your case at all.
As someone who likes wrestling and MMA equally, I try to be as diplomatic as possible.
But let’s be honest, guys, wrestling is scripted, and MMA is real. To go from real fighting to scripted fighting… Doesn’t that seem like kind of a downgrade? Sure, Brock Lesnar is built up as this inhuman tank, but in the world of REAL fights, he had to beef up on HGH or whatever just to even stand a chance against some rando heavyweight from the UFC. I can’t imagine Bobby Lashley’s recent MMA career has treated him any better, considering he’s down in IMPACT right now. And now Ronda Rousy is taking up the wrestling trade.
I’m not sure what they have planned for Rousy at WrestleMania this year. Honestly, I’m one of those guys who doesn’t look up the spoiler pages. I’m subscribed to a wrestling podcast or two that dishes out some back stage news, so I know about stuff like Enzo Amore getting fired recently. But as for what’s going to happen at WrestleMania… I’d kind of like to be surprised.
Still, I can’t help but think this is actually a bit of a step down for Rousy. Especially since MMA guys fucking HATE pro-wrestlers.
There’s definitely some resentment between the two fanbases, and it’s not hard to see why. A lot of people, including my own mother, can’t tell the difference between the two. Wrestling sites have, in the past, covered UFC events, which I always found baffling. MMA fans, meanwhile, tend to get lobbed into the same crowd as wrestling fans, and I can definitely see why that’d piss people off. It reminds me personally of all those bureaucrats in the Kansas state government who think the school for the blind and the school for the deaf should be the same building. Because apparently, blind and deaf are the same fucking thing, and if they had it their way, those freaks would all be going to the circus to learn sign language with all the other cripples anyway. So yeah, I get it.
I really don’t know how to end this ramblefest. So all I’ll say is that this WrestleMania season is looking kind of interesting so far. Between this, and the fact they actually DIDN’T let one of The Fortunate Sons win the rumble on the men’s side this year, it might actually be worth dropping some cash on.