Well it was Nice While it Lasted

It says a lot about your conditioning as a fan when you see your team is 5-0 in the regular season, and the only team in the entire league with an undefeated record, and the only thought in your head is “Boy I sure can’t wait to see how we fuck this one up.”  It’s a terrible thought, but man, that’s what it’s like being a Chiefs fan.

 

This team, right here, always has me guessing.  It’s always dependent on what kind of year we have.  Which I suppose is better than knowing right out the gate your team is going to suck elephant balls (cough Cleveland cough), but man, it’s a rollercoaster.

 

Literally the only thing you can predict about The Chiefs is that they’re either going to suck this year, or they’re going to have a really good regular season, and fuck up when it actually matters.  Though to be fair, we lost to The Patriots two years ago, and the only shame in that is if you lose with a score of 57 to 14 or something particularly humiliating like that.  Then there’s games like last year, where one specific player got a holding penalty that cost us a two point conversion that would’ve tied the game.  Which reminds me, how the fuck is it we get rid of Jeremy MacLyn for some reason, but Eric fucking Fisher got to keep HIS job?  That’s seriously the kind of boneheaded mistake that gets football fans angry, and talk of sacrificing you to their vengeful football god starts circulating.

 

Six weeks into the 2017 season, The Chiefs were undefeated…  Until week 6, when they took on The Steelers.  To put it bluntly: death, taxes, and Steelers beat The Chiefs.  Enough said.

 

I knew it wasn’t going to last forever.  If not because nobody’s been able to replicate the legendary Miami Dolphins undefeated streak (and don’t even start with 2007 Patriots, because losing the superbowl counts as a loss, and therefore, you’re not undefeated), but because it’s the fucking Chiefs.  This is a team that’s great at building up so they can knock you down.  And we fall for it every year.  It’d be embarrassing if it wasn’t something trivial like a sports team.

 

If you want my prediction, I’ll say that, for sure, we’re making it to the playoffs.  Then we choke against the first team we play, and then sit back and watch as The Patriots win another fucking superbowl.

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Goodbye, Jamal

Well if you live in KC, then one of the popular topics of discussion is that The Chiefs finally gave Jamal Charles his walking papers.  on one hand, I can see why a lot of guys are mystified.  On the other hand, I can see why The Chiefs did what they did.

On one hand, Jamal Charles was an institution.  He was pretty much the star player of The Chiefs for the longest time.  He’s been on the team since I first started paying attention to football!  I remember him from when Todd Halley was the coach, Matt Cassle was getting sacked every other play, and Larry Johnson were cakin’.

Unfortunately, dude’s been injured for about two years straight.  That’s bad enough.  Add on the fact that the coaching staff have long since figured out how to replace him, and…  Well…  Nobody likes learning they’re obsolete, but…  Charles pretty much became obsolete.  Travis Kelsey, Kniles Davis, and Charkendrick West have all proven to be successful, and we never would’ve figured out they were any good unless Charles was on the injured list.

If The Chiefs had one glaring problem in their strategy, it was that they depended on Charles WAY too much.  Occasionally, they’d hand it off to a guy like McCluster, or Bowe (back when they were around), but it seemed like it always went to Charles.  Not taking anything away from Charles himself, but man, when you hand the ball off to the same guy every single god damn time, then wonder how on Earth the other team was able to stifle your offense so easily without coming to the obvious conclusion, then I think we might have a problem.

When Charles was on the bench, the team had to find work arounds to a strategy that, if you asked me, was barely working at best.  And as a result of giving guys like West and Kelsey a chance, and changing up who gets the ball, we ended up on an eleven game winning streak in the 2015 season.  And in our defense, we lost the playoffs to the fucking Patriots.  There’s little to no shame in losing to The Patriots: they’re nigh unstoppable.  Especially now that Peyton Manning is retired.

It’s sad to see a guy like Charles go, but I think this might be for the better.  Like I said before, dude’s been injured for two straight years now.  It’s really not doing us any good hanging on to him.

All that being said, watch the next team that decides to draft him instantly go to the superbowl and win.  Assuming he doesn’t retire.  Or that team happens to go against The Patriots, and the Patriots are the team that DIDN’T draft him.  Because there are three certainties in life: death, taxes, and Patriots win the superbowl.